One day I will make it to the hallowed fairways of Augusta but for this year at least I will once again be enjoying the action from the comfort of my own home.

Here's the plan.

By 9pm on Wednesday night before you sit down to watch the Masters preview on BBC, make sure you've answered the mail and done all the household chores (or got the butler to do it) so there is nothing to distract you heading into the weekend.

And that includes 'getting rid' of the women and children.

Time for a trip to granny's me thinks or you can take more drastic measures like 'Glenfiddich' O'Neil who has got the builders in to redo the bathroom. There's nothing like a lack of washing facilities to make women run for the hills.

At the very least give the misses some money to go out with her friends. It will be worth the investment. There's nothing which will put more of a strain on a relationship than when you're behaving erratically in front of the TV as your favourite player four putts and she says 'It's only a silly game, let's watch the Apprentice.'

Get down to the shops and buy enough food to keep you going from breakfast on Thursday morning to dinner on Sunday night.

But this is no time to do a 'Jamie Oliver'. You don't want to be wrestling over a 'Coq au Vin' while the action is on. A ready made Sheppard's Pie will more than suffice.

Get in a stack of beer, a bottle of your favourite spirit and a bottle of champagne.

The beer is for general consumption and the spirit is to relieve the pain when one of your ante-post bets hits his second into Rae's Creek and looks like having the weekend off.

Ensure you have a decent TV set. I'm off to get a new 37inch Samsung so the action will be crystal clear and you'll need at least two computer screens to watch the live on line action and the scoreboard.

Don't forget to have Radio Five live on in the background for their regular updates.

All set. Now all you need to do is to pick the winner.

Picking winners is never easy, but David 'Super Bowl' John is swiftly becoming the Torres of the Sportinglife tipping team as he seems to score every week.

In 2008 he has already tipped winners Richard Sterne (16-1), Adam Scott (16-1), Mark Brown (66-1) and Arjun Atwal (33-1) not to mention he hit the crossbar with Alastair Forsyth last week.

The Wise One gave you Phil Mickelson at 33-1 in 2004 and it may well pay to keep one ear on what the boys have to say.

Personally I'm holding on to a few Geoff Ogilvy betting slips. My notes say 'short game to die for' and that's what you need round Augusta.

I also like Vijay to be placed but there are some other interesting markets out there.

I'm stuck between Daniel Chopra, John Senden and Nick Watney for top Debutant. It may be nostalgia kicking in having already backed Chopra to win in the same market at the Mercedes, but he likes a bit of room off the tee and his short game is still very tidy. He often practices with Vijay so may get a good insight into how to play Augusta.

The only other one for me is Tim Clark to be top South African. He is a gritty performer, coming into form and I'm happy to take on the front two in the market with my life savings.

Don't forget to have some silly bets like Woody Austin to be top American with out Woods at 50-1.

It is unfortunate that the best golfer in the world is not present.

Don't panic Tiger Woods is still but playing but If the official government media of North Korea is to be believed, Kim Jong-II is easily the greatest golfer the world has ever seen.

The North Korean leader routinely shoots three or four holes-in-one per round. The Pyongyang media reported that on his first attempt at eighteen holes he aced five holes and finished thirty eight under par.

It should be noted that North Korean golfers are yet to achieve the same standards outside their own county.

Without Kim Jong-II in the field, Tiger Woods is the most likely winner but I'm happy to take him on until he hits the lead.

His putting stroke has been slightly off in the last few weeks and he hasn't putted well at Augusta for a few years. That said he'll probably win by five strokes.

If you like to bet in running, remember the first hole is one of the most difficult in golf. Even last year's winner bogeyed the first two out of the four days, so if one of your fancied players bogeys the first back him again!

I almost forgot, the bottle of champagne is for celebrating if you've backed the winner on Sunday night but even if you haven't celebrate anyway, it's the Masters.

Good luck and happy viewing - Harry