Por old Harry!

Last updated: 12th March 2010

Disaster has struck.

I best point out it has nothing to do with my first round of the year being derailed by continuously knocking the ball out of bounds on the eighth, or that I have an overdraft larger than the budget deficit or even the fact I've just finished my last jeroboam of Bollinger.

The Irish Girl is moving in!

Okay it's more a personal than global crisis but it's still very, very serious.

There'll be no more half eaten curries lying around slowly developing the cure for cancer, bang goes late night research into Tiger's various transgressions and sport on the TV will slowly be replaced by Celebrity Y Factor on Water or some such drivel.

On the bright side I won't have to watch poor old Peter Oosterhuis struggling in the Sky Sports studio. You get the feeling he would rather be hiding behind the 17th green giving commentary in a secluded booth as he did at CBS for the last 20 years.

Many of the younger generation won't even know Peter was a four time European Order of Merit winner (1971-74). All is not lost though, as my golf partner Alvin pointed out, his 1975 Ryder Cup memorabilia still takes pride of place in the showcase at Dulwich and Sydenham Golf Club.

On his holiday in Japan Alvin unearthed a pouch (designed for specifically for golfers) which holds used cigarette ends so players don't litter the golf course. If you thought no one can make gadgets quite like the muffin eaters (see Pebble Beach blog) wait until you see the Golf Ball Gun.

It can shoot the ball anything from 25-400 yards. I'm trying to convince the Editor to buy me one and so I can take on a professional in a golf version of Chess's 1997 Man v Machine - Gary Kasparov v Deep Blue.

At least the Cheltenham Racing Festival is on the horizon. For many years it clashed with the Bay Hill Invitational and I was on the ground in Florida rather than the Cotswolds.

In 2006 while waiting for Tiger to appear for his practice round I got a call from Glenfiddich to say Voy Por Ustedes must be backed to win the Arkle.

When word got round Tiger wasn't coming out I trudged off down the fairways to find some other golfers to watch and came across Justin Rose, Ian Poulter and Luke Donald.

I knew Poulter's caddie liked the horses so we got chatting and Poulter's ears popped up when I said I had a cracking bet.

Poulter came over and I told him Voy Por would win the Arkle, couldn't be beat. He asked how much he should have on and I asked him how much did he have? Walking off the green with the phone to his ear he stopped by me saying 15/2 and I nodded.

I went back into the media centre and nervously listened to the race. The horse travelled well all the way through the race before hitting the front at the last fence and going onto win by 1 ¼ lengths.

I got a few strange looks in the media centre as I jumped up and punched the air shouting 'Get in'.

A little later I caught up with the gang on the 18th tee where Justin Rose was doing a Boo Weekley horse riding impression with his golf club. Poulter gave me a thankful nod before trying to play up his winnings by taking on anyone who would listen for a money game on last hole.

Thinking back winners the Wise One's picks this week at Doral are for the most part going along nicely - Singh -4, Kelly-2, Kim -1, Ogilvy E and Watney +1.

The tournament is still wide open after the first round with only four shots separating the top 23 players.

At bigger prices and sitting at three under par Dustin Johnson, J B Holmes and Soren Hansen at 16/1, 29/1 and 40/1 could provide some ammo for this year's Cheltenham or maybe even a new TV so I can hole up in the spare room and watch the sporting action.