Cooper's Kazakh capers: Pt2

By Matt Cooper Last updated: 18th September 2009

Kazakhstan Open Pro-am

I was feeling a bit wobbly as I arrived at Zhailjau for the Pro-am after a long night that involved turning one quick beer into quite a lot of long ones, plus a couple of brandies courtesy of some new Kazakh friends we made at the bar.

I had quite a few things to organise too - not least the acquisition of some clubs to play with (given that mine are, hopefully, somewhere near Birmingham airport).

But I had reckoned without the smooth organisation at the Zhailjau Golf Resort - because there waiting for me outside the clubhouse was a lovely set of Nikes, a trolley and my caddie for the day, Dana.

After a brief opening ceremony we all headed out onto the course for the shotgun start; a short walk for us up the 18th fairway to the final tee where we made our introductions.

My partners were Ruben Van Der Zaag from Golfers Magazine in the Netherlands and Daulet Tuleubaev, a ten year old Kazakhstani who plays at the Nurtau GC off a handicap of 14. Our professional was Scotland's Andrew McArthur who last week finished second in the Dutch Futures event.

The format was Texas Scramble - we all hit from the tee, selected the best shot and then all hit from that spot, continuing until we found the hole.

And on the 18th we found the hole in just three shots. Andrew boomed his drive down the fairway, we all hit the green, but picked my 8-iron shot which had finished ten feet below the flag and I also rolled the putt in for birdie.

I'm not quite sure what was the more pleasing - the fact that Kazakhstan TV crews were filming my shots or that I was still standing up given how rough I felt.

As we walked to the first tee an excited Daulet announced: "We must be the leaders I think."

The good form of our team continued on the second hole when all of us found the green with our tee shots, but Andrew had very nearly aced it and Daulet - a fearless short putter - converted the birdie, high-fived everyone and said, "Two under, perhaps we are joint leaders now!"

The fourth was a curious one for me. Having found the green of the long par-three with my five wood I then had to wander about in the trees for a little while feeling ill.

When I returned to the green Daulet's mother was concerned that I had experienced some dodgy local food. I'm ashamed to say that I didn't bother to enlighten her that my problems were self-induced, but I did accept her kind offer of some "American pills" that would help me out.

When we failed to birdie the short par-four eighth hole and were therefore only five-under par at the halfway stage, even Daulet's confidence was beginning to wane.

It was at this point that he turned to Ruben and enigmatically asked, "Do you know how many allergies I have?" Ruben didn't. "21," came the answer.

He was an extraordinary kid. As we walked down one fairway he sang 'What a Wonderful World' to me and then said, "The man who sang that song was a cynic because he didn't really believe it was a wonderful world." It's not often I'm lost for words, but I was then.

Apparently Kazakhstan TV has no golf coverage so I was a little confused how he had fallen in love with the game.

Chatting to his mum I discovered that two years ago he went to see his sister in Spain, walked into the pro shop at the hotel and announced to his parents that he loved the game and wanted to play it.

Earlier this year he travelled to Hilton Head Island to attend the Hank Haney Golf Academy and he now plays off 14, won last year's Kazakhstan Junior Open and was second this year when defending.

Confident and excitable, with a wide array of catchphrases and offbeat observations, playing with him was a little bit like finding myself in a Disney movie starring Macauley Culkin.

If Daulet ever does make the big time, his story would actually make a good movie.

The par-five ninth heralded the start of our back nine, but, more importantly our charge for the line. After Andrew's drive had inspired Daulet to shout "Smokin'!" and his second shot had found the fringe we all chipped to within 3 feet and left Daulet to secure birdie.

We parred the tenth but then went berserk, with iron shots raining down on the flag giving us birdies at the next three holes.

The 14th and 15th are both very long par-fives and after Andrew found the back of the green on the first of them, I left a 60-foot eagle putt on the lip and then holed a birdie putt on the second to maintain our momentum.

It was on the 15th that I heard words I never thought I would ever hear on a golf course - not, at least, when I was playing.

"Great shot!" shouted Daulet after one of my better efforts. "Matt - you're my hero!" Whereupon we tapped fists and high-fived.

In truth, I think Daulet was a little more overwhelmed by Andrew's performance, especially his long, straight driving without which we would have never have scored as low as we did.

Andrew was also a fine ambassador for the Challenge Tour, entertaining company for Ruben and myself, and genuinely at ease with Daulet who followed him around all day in a state of high excitement.

After a brilliant approach from Ruben on the 16th was converted by Andrew we approached our final hole, the short par-three 17th.

We had played the short holes well all day and this was to be no different as we all went close and eventually chose to play my ball which was only 8 feet from the pin but, as Andrew said, "You could have left us below the hole, Matt, this one's a tickler."

"It is downhill putt," said Daulet, "which means it breaks more than uphill putt. I think just outside left edge."

Ruben and Daulet slipped by on the high side, I missed on the low side (probably my worst putt in possibly my greatest round of putting) but Andrew converted the opportunity and Daulet could ask again, "Do you think we are the leaders?"

The general feeling was that 13-under would be a little short of the mark, but there was a chance.

And one hour later we were urged to attend the tournament's Opening Ceremony at which the prizes would be given out for the Pro-am and to Daulet's wild delight we were announced the winners.

We were handed our prizes, including one extremely heavy trophy each (I have to admit my first thought was, "How the hell do I get this home?").

Then about ten snappers urged us to smile for the cameras as Daulet excitedly waved his trophy around and then requested the microphone so that he could make a speech to the equally excited crowd.

In a week of novel experiences this surely had to be the pinnacle: I was being photographed by Kazakhstani paparazzi (including, bizarrely, one who looked like Jesus and was wearing a Stockport County replica shirt), stood next to a precociously talented ten year old who had called me his hero and I was waving a trophy around that looked vaguely like the World Cup.

I needed a lie down.

Instead, Ruben and I rounded the day off with some food and drink in the Guns and Roses pub back at the hotel where we were entertained by 'Johnny and the Gazz Band'.

Their set was quite lively, involving numerous changes of band members including the late arrival of the lead guitarist who wore a bubble perm in the manner of Kevin Keegan and an organist who looked like he was inputting data into a computer.

The lead singer was an intriguing mix: she looked like an overweight Bonnie Tyler and she sounded like a bizarre hybrid of Pink and Vic Reeves singing in the manner of a club singer.

They brought the house down.

A suitably surreal end to one of the most surreal days of my life.

Matt Cooper